A little boy came home from school one day and said to his father, "Dad, what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow." The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Lets say that I'm capitalism because I'm the breadwinner. Your mother will be government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?" the little boy said, "well, dad, I don’t know, but I'll think about what you said."
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was woken up by his brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parents bedroom and found his fathers side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest bedroom down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. Because he couldn’t do anything else, he turned and went back to bed. The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "dad, I think I understand politics much better now."
"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "what have you learned?" the little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of shit."
Monday, July 2, 2007
Saturday, June 30, 2007
***Throw your baggage out of the window***
Have your past relationships left you with enough emotional baggage to fill an entire airplane? If so, it’s time to let go of it before your next relationship crashes and burns, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., the host of Detroit’s popular “Love Doctor” live television and radio programs. Below, find her tips on how to lighten your load:
*****Don’t despair—you are not aloneThough you may feel like the only person out there with unhealed scars from previous breakups, everyone else has ’em, too. “All people have some amount of baggage associated with past relationships,” says Dr. Orbuch. “It’s the amount of baggage that matters.” While it’s normal to occasionally compare past relationships with your present one, if you find yourself comparing every behavior and quality of a new date to your old flame, it is time to deal with the past, she says. Once you’ve done so, you’ll be able to move forward without the need to constantly revisit the past.
***Forge new memoriesAll couples have their “places”—a favorite restaurant or coffee shop, a regularly-visited shop or a frequently-visited movie theater. Even if you’re still a huge fan of those establishments, when trying to get over an ex, it’s best to avoid visiting them, Dr. Orbuch advises: “It may sound obvious, but many people make the mistake of going to the old places that remind them of the past relationship, which brings the old memories right back.” Additionally, nothing good can come from having old photos, ticket stubs and clothing of your ex hanging around the house. “Putting away the photos and other reminders of your past relationships helps put away the memories,” Dr. Orbuch asserts. Focus on what’s going on in your life now—and creating an exciting future.
***Refocus the blameWhile you may need an answer as to why a past relationship ended, seeking such confirmation or closure may actually hinder your ability to move past the breakup. “It is important to not blame yourself or your partner for the past breakup,” says Dr. Orbuch. “Instead, blame the relationship or chalk it up to the fact that the two of you just weren’t right for each other.” An anger-free declaration of “We were not compatible” or “We were very different” can often ease you into the adjustment you’ll need to make after your relationship’s end, not to mention letting go of the baggage associated with the past, she says. Staying too invested in the who, what, where and why of the breakup will prevent you from moving on. Find a way to look at what happened, explain it, and move forward.
***Express your anger constructivelyIt’s common to be saddled with baggage associated with the past because you still have unresolved anger about how, why or when a past relationship ended. “It’s OK to feel some anger about the demise of a relationship because it motivates you to move forward with your life,” explains Dr. Orbuch. However, if you don’t deal with that anger constructively, you can’t let go of the past and therefore can’t approach dating with a new, fresh, positive attitude. To deal with your anger in a healthy way, Dr. Orbuch advises logging your feelings in a journal, exercising, or writing a letter to your ex-partner. “If you go the letter route, write down all of what you want to say to your ex, but don’t send it! Throw it away, or put it in a drawer to read later,” she recommends.
***Use gender-specific coping strategiesAccording to Dr. Orbuch, studies show that men and women cope very differently after a relationship breakup or divorce and also deal with past baggage very differently: “For women, talking about the breakup (though not endlessly) is very therapeutic and helpful for them. Women call their friends, seek out self-help books, and go to therapists,” she says. “Men, on the other hand, do what I call ‘behavioral coping strategies’—they play sports, work out at the gym, put more energy into their job/work, or start a new hobby.” In her experience, she’s seen that these strategies work well for each sex when they are trying to let their baggage go as well as when they’re dealing with a date who constantly brings up the past.
***Get confirmation from friends and familyWhen you’re still licking the wounds from a breakup, the need for self-protection often causes even the best of us to become revisionist historians and forget why the relationship needed to end. “When going back and asking yourself, ‘Should we have ended it?’ consult your family and friends—they haven’t forgotten why it didn’t work,” advises Dr. Orbuch. When you need a dose of reality, ask them to remind you why your past relationship didn’t work or why it wasn’t right for you.
***Seek assistance from a therapistIf you feel overwhelmed by the emotional fallout from your past relationships, don’t be afraid to seek help from a mental-health professional. “If you are really feeling distressed, angry or upset or you feel like the past is preventing you from moving on, I strongly encourage you to seek out the assistance of a counselor or therapist,” Dr. Orbuch advises, nothing that another person’s perspective can be extremely helpful when your goal is moving on.
*****Don’t despair—you are not aloneThough you may feel like the only person out there with unhealed scars from previous breakups, everyone else has ’em, too. “All people have some amount of baggage associated with past relationships,” says Dr. Orbuch. “It’s the amount of baggage that matters.” While it’s normal to occasionally compare past relationships with your present one, if you find yourself comparing every behavior and quality of a new date to your old flame, it is time to deal with the past, she says. Once you’ve done so, you’ll be able to move forward without the need to constantly revisit the past.
***Forge new memoriesAll couples have their “places”—a favorite restaurant or coffee shop, a regularly-visited shop or a frequently-visited movie theater. Even if you’re still a huge fan of those establishments, when trying to get over an ex, it’s best to avoid visiting them, Dr. Orbuch advises: “It may sound obvious, but many people make the mistake of going to the old places that remind them of the past relationship, which brings the old memories right back.” Additionally, nothing good can come from having old photos, ticket stubs and clothing of your ex hanging around the house. “Putting away the photos and other reminders of your past relationships helps put away the memories,” Dr. Orbuch asserts. Focus on what’s going on in your life now—and creating an exciting future.
***Refocus the blameWhile you may need an answer as to why a past relationship ended, seeking such confirmation or closure may actually hinder your ability to move past the breakup. “It is important to not blame yourself or your partner for the past breakup,” says Dr. Orbuch. “Instead, blame the relationship or chalk it up to the fact that the two of you just weren’t right for each other.” An anger-free declaration of “We were not compatible” or “We were very different” can often ease you into the adjustment you’ll need to make after your relationship’s end, not to mention letting go of the baggage associated with the past, she says. Staying too invested in the who, what, where and why of the breakup will prevent you from moving on. Find a way to look at what happened, explain it, and move forward.
***Express your anger constructivelyIt’s common to be saddled with baggage associated with the past because you still have unresolved anger about how, why or when a past relationship ended. “It’s OK to feel some anger about the demise of a relationship because it motivates you to move forward with your life,” explains Dr. Orbuch. However, if you don’t deal with that anger constructively, you can’t let go of the past and therefore can’t approach dating with a new, fresh, positive attitude. To deal with your anger in a healthy way, Dr. Orbuch advises logging your feelings in a journal, exercising, or writing a letter to your ex-partner. “If you go the letter route, write down all of what you want to say to your ex, but don’t send it! Throw it away, or put it in a drawer to read later,” she recommends.
***Use gender-specific coping strategiesAccording to Dr. Orbuch, studies show that men and women cope very differently after a relationship breakup or divorce and also deal with past baggage very differently: “For women, talking about the breakup (though not endlessly) is very therapeutic and helpful for them. Women call their friends, seek out self-help books, and go to therapists,” she says. “Men, on the other hand, do what I call ‘behavioral coping strategies’—they play sports, work out at the gym, put more energy into their job/work, or start a new hobby.” In her experience, she’s seen that these strategies work well for each sex when they are trying to let their baggage go as well as when they’re dealing with a date who constantly brings up the past.
***Get confirmation from friends and familyWhen you’re still licking the wounds from a breakup, the need for self-protection often causes even the best of us to become revisionist historians and forget why the relationship needed to end. “When going back and asking yourself, ‘Should we have ended it?’ consult your family and friends—they haven’t forgotten why it didn’t work,” advises Dr. Orbuch. When you need a dose of reality, ask them to remind you why your past relationship didn’t work or why it wasn’t right for you.
***Seek assistance from a therapistIf you feel overwhelmed by the emotional fallout from your past relationships, don’t be afraid to seek help from a mental-health professional. “If you are really feeling distressed, angry or upset or you feel like the past is preventing you from moving on, I strongly encourage you to seek out the assistance of a counselor or therapist,” Dr. Orbuch advises, nothing that another person’s perspective can be extremely helpful when your goal is moving on.
Monday, June 25, 2007
*****************BALLS, FOOTS, & CHINS*************
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Poor A-Rab Grandpa!!
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather in a Nursing home.Since most of the facilities were completely full, they had to put him in aJewish home. After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visitgrandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," saysgrandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place foryou. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residentshere," grandpa says with a big smile.
"There's a musician here he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!"
"There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the benchin 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honour'!"
"And there's a physician here -- 90 years old! He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!"
"And what about you Grandpa" - asks the grandson.
"And me...., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'Thefucking Arab!"
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Brain mix-up triggers strange feeling of déjà vu
The brain cranks out memories near its center, in a looped wishbone of tissue called the hippocampus. But a new study suggests only a small chunk of it, called the dentate gyrus, is responsible for “episodic” memories — information that allows us to tell similar places and situations apart.The finding helps explain where déjà vu originates in the brain, and why it happens more frequantley with increasing age and with brain-disease patients, said MIT neuroscientist Susumu Tonegawa. The study is detailed today in the online version of the journal Science.Like a computer logging its programs’ activities, the dentate gyrus notes a situation’s pattern—it’s visual, audio, smell, time and other cues for the body’s future reference. So what happens when its abilities are jammed?When Tonegawa and his team bred mice without a fully-functional dentate gyrus, the rodents struggled to tell the difference between two similar but different situations. “These animals normally have a distinct ability to distinguish between situations,” Tonegawa said, like humans. “But without the dentate gyrus they were very mixed up.”Déjà vu is a memory problem, Tonegawa explained, occurring when our brains struggle to tell the difference between two extremely similar situations. As people age, Tonegawa said déjà-vu-like confusion happens more often—and it also happens in people suffering from brain diseases like Alzheimer’s. “It’s not surprising,” he said, “when you consider the fact that there’s a loss of or damage to cells in the dentate gyrus.”
**interesting Article
**interesting Article
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Makeup For … Men?
Thanks to macho products such as concealer, powder and, yes, mascara, today's man is taking his grooming to new heights.
Experts say it's only natural that men would turn to makeup to look their best. Grooming, after all, has never been more acceptable. Last year, $4.8 million was spent on male grooming products in the U.S., a 7% increase over the year before and a whopping 42% increase from 2001, according to Euromonitor, a London-based marketing and research company.
And while still not the norm, makeup--including products from
**Clinique,
**Clarins
**Jean Paul Gaultier (their line of mens makeup includes --eyeliner, conclear, lipstick/tint, foundation, face powder, self tanner, etc)
--has become a more common part of the male beauty routine. Walk into megastores like Sephora or Macy's and you'll find a variety of masculine beauty products including bronzer and face masks. Clarin's Self-Tanning Gel for Men, for example, amps up skin color while evening out skin tone.
What do you guys think about this new trend of men wearing makeup???
Me personally i wouldnt want my man covered up in makeup, since i hardly wear any i dont want him all tarted up and looking like a barbie doll!!....conclear is ok for covering up a zit or somthing...but eyeliner, lipstick, foundation, or even mascara is a big NO NO!!
Monday, June 4, 2007
Dontcha just love gay flight attendants ;P
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."
I cracked up when i read this....for some reason i imagined the women to be a Khaleejia snob :P
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