***Throw your baggage out of the window***

Have your past relationships left you with enough emotional baggage to fill an entire airplane? If so, it’s time to let go of it before your next relationship crashes and burns, says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., the host of Detroit’s popular “Love Doctor” live television and radio programs. Below, find her tips on how to lighten your load:


*****Don’t despair—you are not aloneThough you may feel like the only person out there with unhealed scars from previous breakups, everyone else has ’em, too. “All people have some amount of baggage associated with past relationships,” says Dr. Orbuch. “It’s the amount of baggage that matters.” While it’s normal to occasionally compare past relationships with your present one, if you find yourself comparing every behavior and quality of a new date to your old flame, it is time to deal with the past, she says. Once you’ve done so, you’ll be able to move forward without the need to constantly revisit the past.


***Forge new memoriesAll couples have their “places”—a favorite restaurant or coffee shop, a regularly-visited shop or a frequently-visited movie theater. Even if you’re still a huge fan of those establishments, when trying to get over an ex, it’s best to avoid visiting them, Dr. Orbuch advises: “It may sound obvious, but many people make the mistake of going to the old places that remind them of the past relationship, which brings the old memories right back.” Additionally, nothing good can come from having old photos, ticket stubs and clothing of your ex hanging around the house. “Putting away the photos and other reminders of your past relationships helps put away the memories,” Dr. Orbuch asserts. Focus on what’s going on in your life now—and creating an exciting future.


***Refocus the blameWhile you may need an answer as to why a past relationship ended, seeking such confirmation or closure may actually hinder your ability to move past the breakup. “It is important to not blame yourself or your partner for the past breakup,” says Dr. Orbuch. “Instead, blame the relationship or chalk it up to the fact that the two of you just weren’t right for each other.” An anger-free declaration of “We were not compatible” or “We were very different” can often ease you into the adjustment you’ll need to make after your relationship’s end, not to mention letting go of the baggage associated with the past, she says. Staying too invested in the who, what, where and why of the breakup will prevent you from moving on. Find a way to look at what happened, explain it, and move forward.


***Express your anger constructivelyIt’s common to be saddled with baggage associated with the past because you still have unresolved anger about how, why or when a past relationship ended. “It’s OK to feel some anger about the demise of a relationship because it motivates you to move forward with your life,” explains Dr. Orbuch. However, if you don’t deal with that anger constructively, you can’t let go of the past and therefore can’t approach dating with a new, fresh, positive attitude. To deal with your anger in a healthy way, Dr. Orbuch advises logging your feelings in a journal, exercising, or writing a letter to your ex-partner. “If you go the letter route, write down all of what you want to say to your ex, but don’t send it! Throw it away, or put it in a drawer to read later,” she recommends.



***Use gender-specific coping strategiesAccording to Dr. Orbuch, studies show that men and women cope very differently after a relationship breakup or divorce and also deal with past baggage very differently: “For women, talking about the breakup (though not endlessly) is very therapeutic and helpful for them. Women call their friends, seek out self-help books, and go to therapists,” she says. “Men, on the other hand, do what I call ‘behavioral coping strategies’—they play sports, work out at the gym, put more energy into their job/work, or start a new hobby.” In her experience, she’s seen that these strategies work well for each sex when they are trying to let their baggage go as well as when they’re dealing with a date who constantly brings up the past.


***Get confirmation from friends and familyWhen you’re still licking the wounds from a breakup, the need for self-protection often causes even the best of us to become revisionist historians and forget why the relationship needed to end. “When going back and asking yourself, ‘Should we have ended it?’ consult your family and friends—they haven’t forgotten why it didn’t work,” advises Dr. Orbuch. When you need a dose of reality, ask them to remind you why your past relationship didn’t work or why it wasn’t right for you.


***Seek assistance from a therapistIf you feel overwhelmed by the emotional fallout from your past relationships, don’t be afraid to seek help from a mental-health professional. “If you are really feeling distressed, angry or upset or you feel like the past is preventing you from moving on, I strongly encourage you to seek out the assistance of a counselor or therapist,” Dr. Orbuch advises, nothing that another person’s perspective can be extremely helpful when your goal is moving on.

*****************BALLS, FOOTS, & CHINS*************

What has hit more balls than David Beckham's foot???

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give up??

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ANS--Elton Johns Chin

:P

Poor A-Rab Grandpa!!

An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather in a Nursing home.Since most of the facilities were completely full, they had to put him in aJewish home. After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visitgrandpa.

"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," saysgrandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place foryou. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residentshere," grandpa says with a big smile.
"There's a musician here he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!"
"There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the benchin 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honour'!"
"And there's a physician here -- 90 years old! He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!"
"And what about you Grandpa" - asks the grandson.
"And me...., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me 'Thefucking Arab!"

Brain mix-up triggers strange feeling of déjà vu

The brain cranks out memories near its center, in a looped wishbone of tissue called the hippocampus. But a new study suggests only a small chunk of it, called the dentate gyrus, is responsible for “episodic” memories — information that allows us to tell similar places and situations apart.The finding helps explain where déjà vu originates in the brain, and why it happens more frequantley with increasing age and with brain-disease patients, said MIT neuroscientist Susumu Tonegawa. The study is detailed today in the online version of the journal Science.Like a computer logging its programs’ activities, the dentate gyrus notes a situation’s pattern—it’s visual, audio, smell, time and other cues for the body’s future reference. So what happens when its abilities are jammed?When Tonegawa and his team bred mice without a fully-functional dentate gyrus, the rodents struggled to tell the difference between two similar but different situations. “These animals normally have a distinct ability to distinguish between situations,” Tonegawa said, like humans. “But without the dentate gyrus they were very mixed up.”Déjà vu is a memory problem, Tonegawa explained, occurring when our brains struggle to tell the difference between two extremely similar situations. As people age, Tonegawa said déjà-vu-like confusion happens more often—and it also happens in people suffering from brain diseases like Alzheimer’s. “It’s not surprising,” he said, “when you consider the fact that there’s a loss of or damage to cells in the dentate gyrus.”


**interesting Article

Makeup For … Men?

Thanks to macho products such as concealer, powder and, yes, mascara, today's man is taking his grooming to new heights.

Experts say it's only natural that men would turn to makeup to look their best. Grooming, after all, has never been more acceptable. Last year, $4.8 million was spent on male grooming products in the U.S., a 7% increase over the year before and a whopping 42% increase from 2001, according to Euromonitor, a London-based marketing and research company.

And while still not the norm, makeup--including products from

**Clinique,

**Clarins

**Jean Paul Gaultier (their line of mens makeup includes --eyeliner, conclear, lipstick/tint, foundation, face powder, self tanner, etc)

--has become a more common part of the male beauty routine. Walk into megastores like Sephora or Macy's and you'll find a variety of masculine beauty products including bronzer and face masks. Clarin's Self-Tanning Gel for Men, for example, amps up skin color while evening out skin tone.

What do you guys think about this new trend of men wearing makeup???

Me personally i wouldnt want my man covered up in makeup, since i hardly wear any i dont want him all tarted up and looking like a barbie doll!!....conclear is ok for covering up a zit or somthing...but eyeliner, lipstick, foundation, or even mascara is a big NO NO!!

Dontcha just love gay flight attendants ;P

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch."

I cracked up when i read this....for some reason i imagined the women to be a Khaleejia snob :P

Can you Read this?????????????

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can...


"i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!"

Misery: the secret to happiness

The key to a happy relationship could be accepting that some miserable times are unavoidable, experts say.
Therapists from California State University, Northridge and Virginia Tech say accepting these problems is better than striving for perfection.
And they blame cultural fairytales and modern love stories for perpetuating the myth that enjoying a perfect relationship is possible.
The report was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
The authors, Dr Diane Gehart and Dr Eric McCollum say it is a "myth that, with enough effort we can achieve a state without suffering."
And they say healthcare professionals may not be helping the situation.
"The field of mental health perpetuates this myth with the very concept of "mental health," which implies a state without suffering," they say.

What do you guys think???? Do you guys really think by accepting misery??

Men are evil!

Why does it always seem that in a relationship, females are always trying so hard to please their significant other??

Why are relationships perfect for the first 6 or so months and then everything seems to go downhill after that??

Why is it so hard to find a caring, genuine person who doesn’t take you for granted and loves you for who you are?

Why is it so hard for men to commit, after telling you they love you and that you are the most amazing person they’ve ever met?

The question is, is there something wrong with us or them?